THE BALLBUSTING JOURNAL | by Stacy | protecturnuts.com/stacy (Or: One Rule Change, Sweetheart. That's All We'd Need.) More: ProtectUrNuts.com/ballbusting-video You've had this argument at a bar. Somebody asks whether an all-female team could ever beat an all-male team, everyone gets loud, someone brings up sprint times, and the men leave feeling very secure about themselves. Adorable. Because you were all debating the wrong version of the question. Let me settle it properly.

THE BALLBUSTING JOURNAL | by Stacy | protecturnuts.com/stacy (Or: Yes. And She Doesn't Need to Be Strong to Do It.) Entertainment & satire only — not medical advice. Nothing here is an instruction to harm anyone; do not attempt any of it. If you ever experience genuine testicular pain, swelling, or injury, stop reading and seek emergency medical care immediately. More: ProtectUrNuts.com/ballbusting-video You've wondered about this. Don't lie to me. Late one night, alone, you

THE BALLBUSTING JOURNAL | by Stacy | protecturnuts.com/stacy (Or: Every Woman at That Barbecue Today Can Kick You ion the Balls. Yes. Her Too.) Brave Guys Ballbusting 4th of July Sale Happy Fourth, boys. Here's the first thing you need to understand about today. Every woman you're going to see at that barbecue — your girlfriend, your wife, your buddy's wife, that friend of a friend in the sundress by the cooler — has, at least once, considered kicking a man in the balls. And

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THE BALLBUSTING JOURNAL | by Stacy | protecturnuts.com/stacy (Or: The Real Reason They Form That Little Wall and Cover Themselves Like Frightened Children.) Boys, gather round. The World Cup is on, the whole country is watching, and I have been watching too. Closely. And I have reached a conclusion that I believe, in the interest of male safety and basic dignity, must be shared. Men should not be allowed to play soccer. I say this with love. I say this with concern. I say thi

THE BALLBUSTING JOURNAL | by Stacy | protecturnuts.com/stacy (Or: The Performance We Give After You Hit the Floor — and Why We Enjoy It So Much.) Let's set the scene, shall we? You're on the floor. You got there the usual way — my knee, your worst moment, that sound you make that you'll deny later. You're curled up, both hands cupped protectively over the wreckage, doing that little rocking motion men do, the one that's supposed to help and never does. And I'm standing over y

THE BALLBUSTING JOURNAL | by Stacy | protecturnuts.com/stacy (Or: The Power You Keep Below Your Belt Has Never Once Been Safe.) I noticed something the last time I wrote about this. When I published Part 1 — the one about the women who unmanned the most powerful men of their age — the comments rolled in, and a pattern emerged almost immediately. Men weren't disgusted. Men weren't offended. Men were thrilled. There is a very particular kind of man who reads about a woman holdi

by Stacy | protecturnuts.com/stacy The World Cup is supposed to be about soccer. That is adorable. Because the second a certain kind of boy hears “penalty kick,” his brain does not go to tactics, formations, or national pride. It goes to ballbusting. Do not look away, sweetheart. We both know why you clicked. The World Cup gives you everything you need: dramatic men, dangerous footwork, missed shots, fake injuries, penalty boxes, referees, yellow cards, red cards, and one bea

by Stacy | protecturnuts.com/stacy Boys, I want you to understand something before we begin. This is not new. None of it. The thing you think you discovered late one night on the internet — the thing you've maybe been a little embarrassed about — is older than democracy. Older than the alphabet you're reading this in. Women have been bringing men to their knees by way of their most vulnerable real estate since before anyone thought to write it down. You're not part of a trend