Are You Scared of Her Hitting You in the Balls?
Updated: 4 days ago
What was your first time you got Kicked in the Balls?
THE BALLBUSTING JOURNAL | by Stacy | protecturnuts.com/models
18+ only. Satire and adult entertainment. Everything here is fantasy between consenting adults.
Got this one and I've been thinking about it for a bit.
"I really like this girl at my university, but she's known to hit all her boyfriends in the balls. Maybe I could handle it but I'm scared. I've never been hit there before. What should I expect from the impact, the pain, and the relationship in general? She's otherwise the girl of my dreams. Literally."
First: you're not scared of her. You're scared of finding out something about yourself. We'll get to that.
Second, and I need you to hear this before anything else — she has a reputation.
Plural boyfriends, all of them, and everyone knows. That's not a warning label, my love. That's an advertisement, and you read it, and you're still here writing to me about it.
Let's do this properly. Impact first, then the pain, then the relationship. All of it honest.
What the Impact Actually Feels Like
Nobody tells you this part right, so here it is.
The first thing is nothing.
That's the bit that catches everyone. There's a beat after contact where your body checks its own paperwork and you think — oh. Oh, that wasn't so bad. Some men even stay standing for it. You'll have a whole second of believing you got away with it.
You did not get away with it.
Then it arrives, and it doesn't arrive where you're expecting. It goes up. Into your stomach. That's not drama, that's wiring — those things started life inside your abdomen and moved out before you were born, and they never got rewired. Your brain still files them under belly. So what hits you isn't a groin injury. It's a stomach one, and your whole midsection folds around a wound that isn't there.
The heat climbing. The nausea right behind it. Your mouth going wet in that specific way. The room going quiet at the edges and tilting slightly.
And your legs quit. Not a decision. You don't choose to go down, my love. Down simply occurs, the way weather occurs. Your legs file their resignation and don't consult you about it.
Somewhere in there you'll make a sound. It'll be higher than your speaking voice. You'll deny it later and she will remember it forever.
That's the first one. Every man alive has been through it and every man alive has told nobody the details.
The Pain, Honestly
Two to fifteen minutes of genuinely not being okay, depending on you and on her.
Then it starts packing up. Dull ache, maybe an hour, maybe an evening. You'll walk carefully. You'll sit down like a man defusing something. By tomorrow it's mostly a memory with a bit of tenderness attached.
Here's the important bit, and it's the only paragraph in this article I'm not teasing you in.
If the pain doesn't settle — if there's real swelling, if you're throwing up, if one of them is sitting oddly, if it still hurts badly while you're lying still — you go to a doctor. Same day. Not tomorrow. Not after you've seen whether it improves. Rare, but it happens, and nobody has ever impressed a woman by being brave about a genuine injury.
That's it. That's the whole safety talk. Now back to you being frightened.
Practice First, My Love. Seriously.
Here's advice I don't give often, because most men don't need it.
You've never been hit there. Not once. Which means the first time it happens is going to be with her — the girl you actually care about, the one you're trying to impress, in a moment that matters — and you'll have no idea what your own body does.
That's a bad plan. You'll be experiencing the pain, the collapse, the sound, the whole psychological earthquake of a woman having complete control over you, all at once, for the first time, in front of someone whose opinion you desperately care about.
Get some practice in first.
You've got women in your life already. Friends. Classmates. The one you do the group project with who's a bit mad. And here's what you don't understand yet — an enormous number of them are curious and none of them have ever been given permission.
How to ask, since you'll get this wrong otherwise:
Don't make it a favour. Don't sit her down and confess a need. You'll make it heavy and she'll feel responsible and it'll be strange forever. Keep it light.
Make it a test, not a request. "I've genuinely never been hit there. I'm told it's not that bad." Say that to a woman and watch her face. That's not a question, sweetheart, that's a dare, and she'll answer it before she's decided to.
Or make it curiosity, hers not yours. "Have you ever actually done it to someone? Do you know how hard you'd have to go?" She doesn't. Almost none of them do. And now she'd quite like to find out, and it's her idea, and you've done nothing but ask a question.
Let it be funny. Every woman has heard a hundred men be intense at her. Almost none have had one grin and say "go on then." Silly gets you further than serious, every time.
What you get out of it: you'll know what the impact feels like. You'll know how long you're down for. You'll know what sound you make. And you'll have already had the psychological part — the specific and unrepeatable experience of a woman standing over you, entirely unbothered, having just switched you off with almost no effort — before it happens with the one who matters.
Turn up to her knowing your own body. It's the only preparation available and it's better than none.
And be honest with me: reading that list, you already thought of a specific girl.
Go and ask her.
You're Not Scared of the Pain
Let's be honest about what's actually going on here, because I think you already know and you wrote to me hoping I'd say it first.
You're not frightened of a kick. You've been hurt before. Men get hurt constantly and you've survived all of it.
What you're frightened of is that you're going to like it.
Because you've been thinking about this for a while, haven't you. Long enough to find out her reputation. Long enough to ask around. Long enough to sit down and write several paragraphs to a stranger about it. That's not the behaviour of a man weighing a risk.
That's the behaviour of a man circling something.
And the thing you can't say out loud is that some part of you has already imagined it. Her deciding. That look on her face right before. The complete helplessness of it — the fact that you're bigger and stronger and none of that will matter even slightly. You've pictured it and something in you moved, and now you're calling it fear because fear is the more respectable word.
It's not fear, sweetheart. It's anticipation with bad manners.
What It's Going to Be Like With Her
Right. The relationship. Since that's what you actually asked about.
Here's what I'd tell you if you were sitting across from me.
She already knows. If she's got the reputation you say she has, she's been doing this long enough to read men at a glance, and she has almost certainly clocked you. The nervousness. The way you go slightly still when it comes up. Women who do this develop a very good eye for it and she's had practice.
You will not be in charge. Not in that part of it, and quietly not in a few other parts either. That's the arrangement you're signing up for and you should be clear-eyed about it. The first one recalibrates something and it doesn't recalibrate back.
It won't be once. That's the bit men never plan for. You'll brace yourself for the first one and give no thought at all to the eleventh. She'll find out what different shoes do. She'll test angles. She will absolutely tell one friend, and that friend will look at you differently for the rest of your life.
And it'll be fine. Genuinely. You'll be the same person, going to lectures, getting on with your degree, except with a specific new awareness that lives in your body permanently and never quite switches off.
Which — and you'll work this out yourself eventually — is most of the appeal.
One Practical Thing
Talk to her.
Not a speech. Not a confession. Just let the subject exist between the two of you and see what her face does.
You don't need to ask for anything. Women with her reputation don't need to be asked and frankly asking would be the worst move available to you. But there's an enormous difference between this happens to me and this happens to me and we both know about it, and the second one is a relationship while the first one is just weather.
And whatever version of this you end up with — it only ever works when both people want it. She stops if you say stop. You stop if she says stop. Anything else isn't this, it's something else entirely, and something else isn't hot.
Go and Be Terrified, My Love
You wrote in asking what to expect.
Here's what to expect: an eternity that lasts half a second, a sound you'll disown, a floor you didn't plan on, and a fairly significant amount of thinking afterwards about why a small part of you was already waiting for it.
And then you'll be fine. And then you'll be curious. And then you'll be the reason I have a career.
She's not the girl of your dreams because she's otherwise perfect, sweetheart.
She's the girl of your dreams because of the reputation. Have a think about that.
Comments: what was your first one, and did you see it coming? Be kind to the new guy. 😈
Satirical entertainment for adults. Everything here presumes enthusiastic, ongoing consent between adults. Testicular injury is a medical emergency — sudden severe pain, significant swelling, nausea, or a testicle sitting oddly requires urgent care the same day.
Every woman in our library has a reputation and not one of them apologises. Meet them, watch the whole catalog, or own all of it forever with Lifetime VIP: 300 memberships, ever.
Frequently Asked Questions
What does getting kicked in the testicles actually feel like?
There's usually a brief delay, then severe pain that radiates into the abdomen rather than staying local, accompanied by nausea, sweating, and involuntary loss of leg strength.
Why does it hurt in the stomach?
Because the testicles develop inside the abdomen and descend before birth while keeping their original abdominal nerve supply, so the brain interprets the injury as abdominal.
How long does the pain last?
Typically two to fifteen minutes of severe pain, followed by a dull ache that can last hours. Pain that doesn't settle requires medical attention.
When should you see a doctor?
Sudden or severe pain, significant swelling, nausea or vomiting, a testicle sitting in an unusual position, or pain continuing at rest all require urgent same-day evaluation.
Can you brace for it?
Not effectively. The response is involuntary and neurological, so tensing or preparing does not prevent the collapse or the nausea.
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